I remember it well. Bitter sweet to depths unfathomable.
I had accepted a job in California. It was the only way forward. The economy had changed so the the business model dad had created was outdated and failing. There was no way to support everyone on the income anymore. Mom's insurance money was being drained to support the business and I could not let that happen. So I loaded up my young family, and left town to seek a new beginning.
The business dad had built was dismantled and sold of for parts. The building rented. The memories lingering in the old storage building out back.
The house across the street, the lemon as we called it, was loaded into a 28 for U-Haul. Everything I owned inside. The house dad and I had spent hours rebuilding every night until he got sick. The house with so many memories, my first.
We said goodbyes, drive slowly off. I was in the truck, alone. Seeing the buildings, people, businesses one last time as a member of that community for over 30 years... Took its toll. About 2 miles out of town it hit me.. driving towards beeville in that old U-Haul.
Tears. Bitter crying of a soul that wanted to stay, and wanted to leave. It was all I knew.. that little community. It was life. In front was a great unknown. The big city. Technology. Income, a chance to be independent again. But behind was everything... Everything.
Good had closed all doors, forcing us to move. It was painful, a sorry of death inside. Yet it was the best thing God could do for us. It forced me to begin to truly truly on him. To see his hand at work in my life. I was no longer Herbert's boy.. in fact, I was no one. Zero. No one knew me, no one respected me where I was going. It was truly a new beginning, my beginning.
The hand of God was all over those days.. how things just fell into place one after another. Yet... It hurt.
Following God is not all fun and games. It's work. It's giving up ourselves and becoming Him. It's painful but peaceful. For miles that day the tears flowed. Breathing was a chore. Driving... I don't know how that happened. I was broken beyond repair, devastated... But determined. God drove me forward out of my comfort zone into a new world he had for me.
There are many lessons here... Perhaps the main lesson is... To follow the lessons. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it's scary. Sometimes you think you can't, but with God you can. He didn't remove the hurry, at least not in my case... But he gives the strength to move forward and the peace inside to know it's right.
Peace is the ultimate.... Piece inside the storm. Pain comes and goes... Peace is constant.
I had accepted a job in California. It was the only way forward. The economy had changed so the the business model dad had created was outdated and failing. There was no way to support everyone on the income anymore. Mom's insurance money was being drained to support the business and I could not let that happen. So I loaded up my young family, and left town to seek a new beginning.
The business dad had built was dismantled and sold of for parts. The building rented. The memories lingering in the old storage building out back.
The house across the street, the lemon as we called it, was loaded into a 28 for U-Haul. Everything I owned inside. The house dad and I had spent hours rebuilding every night until he got sick. The house with so many memories, my first.
We said goodbyes, drive slowly off. I was in the truck, alone. Seeing the buildings, people, businesses one last time as a member of that community for over 30 years... Took its toll. About 2 miles out of town it hit me.. driving towards beeville in that old U-Haul.
Tears. Bitter crying of a soul that wanted to stay, and wanted to leave. It was all I knew.. that little community. It was life. In front was a great unknown. The big city. Technology. Income, a chance to be independent again. But behind was everything... Everything.
Good had closed all doors, forcing us to move. It was painful, a sorry of death inside. Yet it was the best thing God could do for us. It forced me to begin to truly truly on him. To see his hand at work in my life. I was no longer Herbert's boy.. in fact, I was no one. Zero. No one knew me, no one respected me where I was going. It was truly a new beginning, my beginning.
The hand of God was all over those days.. how things just fell into place one after another. Yet... It hurt.
Following God is not all fun and games. It's work. It's giving up ourselves and becoming Him. It's painful but peaceful. For miles that day the tears flowed. Breathing was a chore. Driving... I don't know how that happened. I was broken beyond repair, devastated... But determined. God drove me forward out of my comfort zone into a new world he had for me.
There are many lessons here... Perhaps the main lesson is... To follow the lessons. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it's scary. Sometimes you think you can't, but with God you can. He didn't remove the hurry, at least not in my case... But he gives the strength to move forward and the peace inside to know it's right.
Peace is the ultimate.... Piece inside the storm. Pain comes and goes... Peace is constant.
