The coffee house

Back in the 1970s, dad started what was called a"coffee house". It was a popular movement across the nation in the 70s to provide a way for young people to escape a bad life... Mostly teen-ager s addicted to drugs. 

It was an interesting building. Built into an old grocery store across the street from our family business. The outside was non descript. Couldn't even tell it was something.. except for the big plate glass windows painted on the inside.

Inside was quite a site. Filled with half a dozen"tables"for sitting. These were the big spools from wire of the electric company. Spools maybe 8 feet in diameter. Either painted or covered with cloth. The ceiling was parachutes hung.. to deaden the sounds. The appeared like big fluffy clouds above. The walls were painted with Patel background and glow in the dark paints depicting scriptures, storyboards, etc. Black light were hung all around so that at night the place was dimly lit and the walls glowed with bright colors of scriptures and scenes. Even the baseboard was nothing but individual blades of grass painted all the way around the room in glow in the dark green paint.

There were essentially 2 big open rooms connected, and on the right in sorry of a strip mall config was the church room. It was respectfully calm in appearance with an organ, lots of folding chairs, nothing of the atmosphere next door.

In the back was the prayer room. This is where the real battles took place. Prayers, interventions, counseling, one on one sharing... The depth of the battle.

The coffee house was open most nights, kids would congregate there and hang out, play music, talk, pray, read. The church met weekly next door. For a few years, this was dad's life. He spent more time there than at home.

I remember stories that arose from the nights at the coffee house, although at my age I want invited to partake in the events there, only church and daytime visits. As I recall things I will post here

This was a significant party of dads life. It was modeled after David Wilkerson's work in new York that had swept the nation. It was also the beginnings of dads traveling ministry. The success at the coffee house was what people wanted to duplicate. They were hungry for god to move in their town.

Fascinating days indeed...

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Let's partner and make millions!

This story is one of the things that I respect most about my dad... His integrity. While so many in the late 70s fell prey to "prosperity" in the 80s and then failed.. He stood firm on his principles and died one of the wealthiest poor men alive.

There was a time, perhaps mid to late 70s, when things were going great... Good was pouring out his spirit and miracles left and right constantly. Everyone was riding this wave of goodness. Then came the test.

A well known big name preacher was at our house, probably for a series of teaching nights as was common then.  I do not know his name, but remember that he was very successful with a traveling world ministry. After a few nights, before he left, he made my dad an offer:

"Join my ministry... With my preaching and your gift of miracles and healing we can make millions!"

But you see... It had become "his ministry" and even though successful, that was a fatal flaw.  Ultimately dad turned him down. Good was not in it. Yes they would have reached millions of people, saved many, healed many, but... Wasnt gods will.  If god is not behind it... Don't do it. Simple.

So we stayed poor, struggling to get by  financially, but that one act planted my dad at a point of respect and authenticity that never faded. He was the real deal. That was a real offer, it would have worked. But... Dad said no because god was not in it.

Over the next decade many ministries failed with one scandal or another. Their heart had followed the money and they walked from God first. I do not judge then. Just relate what I observed. God pulled his protection from them when they pulled their heart from God first.

The moral here? Be real. Know that true success is not in cash or things, but in doing what god has for you. It's that simple, and that hard.

A most common miracle

Growing up I saw many many miracles.. Some I have described here. But one particular miracle of instant healing happens regularly, often, monthly and sometimes weekly.

It was simple... Back pain. Anyone complaining of back pain would receive this approach. I do not know where my dad saw or came up with this idea. But it worked 99% of the time.

He would have them sit straight in a hard chair. Like a folding chair. Tell then to relax. He would pick up both feet, holding then together, lightly pressing on the heels. Invariably the length of the legs would be of by an inch or more, one leg obviously longer. Then he would pray without moving. As he prayed, the short leg would instantly grow to the length of the other and within seconds be exactly the same. The person could then stand and find zero pain in their back.

Sometimes this was dramatic. Like a limp or a cripple healed instantly. Sometimes just s sore back. But it always worked, even to skeptics. Some tried to prove it was a scam, but were  ultimately healed against their expectations.

Scam? No. I personally watched this hundreds of times. I analyzed it as a skeptic, but no trickery here. Was it just relaxing muscles in the back that lengthened the leg? Probably... Was that a miracle? Definitely.  In the later years he didn't even pray, just pick up their feet, watch them grow to match, then thank Jesus for healing. He said as his own faith grew, god honored that in this way.

Simple, common, miraculous. Good care s about the little things!

It's not what you know...

In life...  Is not what you know that's important   but who you know. 

If you can find an answer... If you know the source of truth,  you do not need to possess every answer to every question.  Facts are discoverable through many sources....  Do not commit the majority of your time in accumulating them.  Instead...  Concentrate on learning wisdom.

Wisdom is the application of facts to life,  a deep understand of the relationship and actions of facts.  Pursue wisdom ...  And the facts will be found as necessary.

Where did you go to school?

Apparently my grandpa was a very bright man.  The story goes...  He was often asked "where did you get your degree?"  because he demonstrated intelligence fat above normal.  His answer?

"I have a PhD from the school of hard knocks "

Grandpa learned from life,  using common sense and experience as the teacher and curriculum.  There  is no better teacher.

Intelligence does not come from school...  It comes from god.  School at best can bring facts (which are discoverable outside just as well)  and challenge you to think (which we should do always anywhere)  and at worst will destroy your ability to reason,  replacing that work blind acceptance of started facts based on source,  not truth.

Work Ethic

My dad always had this sign, or one very similar to it, posted by the water cooler at the office. This is wisdom to remember.  Either be in, or get out.  Being in while wanting out destroys your own peace, and degrades everyone's view of you.  If you are to be in, then be in. Change what you can and accept the rest. If you cant.. leave.

Easy as 1 2 3

A common phrase, "its as easy as 1 2 3"... but is it?

one of my biggest frustrations in life  is that the vast majority of people  we interact with... simply dont think. They have lost, or never had, the ability to reason, to truly understand concepts, to "know" things. Yet, they know many things... as remembered facts.

I was faced with a delimma in me microsoft days. After the acquisition of Datallegro,  the new microsoft owners asked me to embark on a mission, to teach the people at microsoft how to do what I do.  Of course, the first step was to understand how I do what I do so I could know what to try to relay.  Tht launched me on a jounrey of discovery.

This journey led me to a way of thinking about thinking.... Blooms taxonomy. It describd best  both the source of my frustration and the core of mission Microsoft called me to undertake.  This taxonomy providd the foundation. I share it here now as the basis of future posts.

Background:

In 1956, Benjamin Bloom headed a group of educational psychologists who developed a classification of levels of intellectual behavior important in learning. During the 1990's a new group of cognitive psychologists, lead by Lorin Anderson (a former student of Bloom), updated the taxonomy to reflect relevance to 21st century work. The two graphics show the revised and original Taxonomy. Note the change from nouns to verbs associated with each level.

I prefer the verbs version, as it is more explanatory in common language, but here are both the original and hte updated:

Booms Taxonomy Original

Blooms taxonomy updated

Here are the official definitions of the layers acording to the updated version:

Remembering: can the student recall or remember the information?	define, duplicate, list, memorize, recall, repeat, reproduce state
Understanding: can the student explain ideas or concepts?	classify, describe, discuss, explain, identify, locate, recognize, report, select, translate, paraphrase
Applying: can the student use the information in a new way?	choose, demonstrate, dramatize, employ, illustrate, interpret, operate, schedule, sketch, solve, use, write.
Analyzing: can the student distinguish between the different parts?	appraise, compare, contrast, criticize, differentiate, discriminate, distinguish, examine, experiment, question, test.
Evaluating: can the student justify a stand or decision?	appraise, argue, defend, judge, select, support, value, evaluate
Creating: can the student create new product or point of view?	assemble, construct, create, design, develop, formulate, write.

As you climb from the foundation (remembering or basic knowledge of facts) towards the top (the ability to create anew), you truly "learn' something. Not until you reach the top and can create using the thing known as raw materials that you can claim to "know" it. Before that you only "know about" it   The steps represent the necessary path from one to the other. No levels can be missed!  IF you sipe "create" withut climbinh through true understanding and analyzing... then yu siply create a new appraoch to facts, not a new understanding.

Unfortunately my mission at Microsoft mostly failed. And I understand why.

IT is a simple fact that for the vast majority of people, american education destroys the ability to climb this chart. The ability to learn is squashed through the approaches and methods of modern education. In its place is a full and sole embracing of facts... which is at the bottom of hte learning cycle. The student is recline to a life of remembering insted of understanding. The bible has a name for this... it is called "sheep".

At microsoft, the culture is much like higher education, squashing true understanding of concepts in favor of demonstrable facts.  I fact, within the culture there I clearly noticed that almost exclusively the higher the education of the person, the lower on the chart they lived.  So the microsoft culture went something like this:

the masses, the newcomers, fresh ut of school, little experience, lots of facts, some showed proomise, but few had the capacity to grasp. they became the busy workers for the first few years.

The middle men, after several years in, doing, working, experiencing, they learned... some were achieving true learning. They were the thinkers.. the ones that drove what little innovation there was.... until they either left for greener pastures or were promoted and schooled further...

The managers... higher ups, leaders... usually with more education credentials...  these were usually below the newcomers in ability to reason. They were numbers folks...  in fact the more letters they posessed behind their name, the less they could think.They spent their time mostly doing meaningless things and limiting the middle men who were actually creating.

The outsiders.. acquisitions.. these guys were good, knew how to think, but if so, they didnt fit into the culture and were quickly forced out. the few that stayed became.... managers.

I am not picking on microsoft... this iis the same patter I see in every walk of life, every profession, across america.  IT is rooted in the education system we run our children through. te education syste that was purposefully designed to rceate factory workers (non thinkers) from the american entrepreneur.

So back to the taxonomy... this is the key. facts have little value except to form a foundation. The true value in learning is in climbing the ladder and truly uderstanding relationshpips, the big picture, trenda, patterns, formulating cause and effect, building proposed scenerios, predicting the future.  Facts are only a small almost insignificant starting point. Sure.. important.. but only a sa starting point.

Sad is hte man who aims to build a house, lays a good foundation, but then praises the foundation so much so that... the house is never built. it woul cover his beautiful foundation! the house never appers, just a beautiful useful but useless foundation for all to see.

My point in all this is to express how true learning happens. You follow the levels to the top. You master something, not remember it.  And the amazing thing is... when you do this properly... you wll find that virtually all of life, all that matters, alings with the bible.  There is wisdom and technology within the bible that few find... becsue it is beyond the memorization. It is beyond verse and chapter boundaries. IT is in concepts... large clouds of thught that must be held in the comprehension in entireity to see the picture and grasp the beasuty.

More on this later.. that is the basics of sevral concepts I wish to share...

so for now.... 1 2 3 may be eay, but understanding 1 2 3  is... incredibly hard and immeasurably valuable.

Me

I once heard my dad say,  "I have been married to 4 different women"  confused by this,  I wondered,  but he continued,  "every decade she totally changed into someone new"

Now I can relate to that.  I wish to tell you the high level story of...  Me.  Sometimes people seem surprised or confused by the choices we make,  but we must all remember that life is a journey,  and what we think are destinations are really usually just milestones along the way

My journey has been a huge circle through many strange lands. 

I started life...  Different.  All up to my teenage years I was different.  I was also ridiculed,  criticized,  austricized,  laughed at,  attacked  because I was different,  but I was me.  I was intelligent,  wore glasses,  wore braces,  had strong conservative beliefs,  was living in a home / church where miracles happened weekly.  My dad was the biggest figure in town,  riding around on his tractor in our organic 1 acre garden in his brilliant white shirt with a iron on Jesus people patch on the back.

We were different,  and I loved it.  I was at peace.  I was me. I loved God,  I knew what I knew and stood for something true. 

Then high-school.  Somewhere along the way I made a turn.  I got tired of being different.  I remember a time thinking "I am done....  I just want to disappear into the crowd."  the particular circumstance escapes me,  but I remember the moment.  I prayed " God I still love you and will never reject you,  but I can't do this anymore".  And at that mile marker my journey changed.

Drinking,  sex,  rebellion,  women chasing,  part of me went crazy down that road.  I stayed away from drugs because I knew that my mind was all I had to earn a living and that could not be risked.

Other than that.  I started down a road I regret.

There were moments of wavering.  For a while I went back and tried to ge me,  but my heart was broken by the early years of ridicule.  I just wanted to be liked,  accepted.  So I wavered game and forth.  Preacher for a while,  rebel for a while.  Two people fighting inside me to be in control.

I married 3 women and divorced 2, and through that I lived 4 different lives.  Always searching to be who I thought I should,  but every mile marker I passed left me deeper into the world of the lost.

Yet I never rejected God,  not inside,  not verbally.

This journey travels through the strange lands of my life and drops me into the life I have today.  Through a string of deeply moving,  tormenting,  and life altering situations,  the Lord led me back...  To me.

So today I sit here as a ultra conservative,  semi Mormon,  ultra traditional usually poor farmer with too many kids to believe and a life that shocks anyone from my past.  They think "wow how you have changed" or " now dave really went off the deep end"  but no.  What they don't realize is that THIS IS ME.

It was only through years of pain that I realized it is going different that is the path.  As the bible says,  "narrow is the way and few are those who find it".  Peace and the resulting happiness comes only from being different.  Let the world be who it is,  let Satan rule,  but to be happy in this life,  we are called to be not of this world,  to be different. Ironically,  what I spent my life seeking,  the acceptance of this world,  sameness,  conformity,  is what brings pain,  suffering,  death.

Today I am who I was,  who I am,  and I am at total peace with it.  Fortunately the Lord brought me a wife that followed on this journey and accepts me.  The God of the universe,  and the woman God gave me accept me.  It is enough.

Be who you are,  and know that only if the world hates you,  will you find true peace. Don't spend a lifetime proving this simple Bible truth as I did.  Live your life,  be you.  Be the you that God created you to be.

The big picture

There are lots of moments,  events from memory to document here.  I do the best I can to pick out the ones that gave meaning to life.  However....  It is important to see the big picture.  My own childhood was not made of these moments in isolation.  There was a steady stream of miracles that far surpass anything seen today.

During the 70s, miracles of various sorts were weekly. Good moved constantly is a variety of ways.  Healings,  words of wisdom,  prophesy,  revelation,  exorcism,  angels,  the list is long.  The weekly question was not "will God work miracles this week",  it was "which miracles will we see this week"

I am not talking about little potential answer to prayers....  No...  I am referring to verifiable instant supernatural miracles. Things that are simply impossible,  happening almost daily.

That's how I grew up...  Exposed to so many miracles and shows of extreme power that they became commonplace,  expected, almost trivalized.  I can relate to the hebrews under moses lead that kept asking for bigger and bigger miracles,  never satisfied.  Miracles don't satisfy a rebellious heart like wealth doesn't satisfy a greedy soul.  We took gods power for granted.

But what days they were! I have seen more miracles in this few years as a teenager than most people see in a lifetime.  Those experiences are cemented inside me as a solid foundation that will never be shaken.  God is alive and well,  period.  Organized religion...  All of them...  Are wrong.  It's that simple.  I have personally meet Jesus,  seem enough of his work and his heart to never doubt. Of that i assure you.

Curiously...  I still walked away for a time.  I ignored god.  I never ever denied him...  Just ignored him, went my own way.  Add expected that ended in misery deeper than any imaginable...  But that's another story.  The thing is..  I know and have always known than god is alive and well today....  I saw first hand hundreds is examples of the supernatural.  Yet...  I went my own way for years.  Miracles,  signs,  wonders,  they do not change a person's heart. 

Bottom line is...  My teenage years were filed with miracles like today life can be filled with TV shows.  These few that I write about are but an example.

God is real.  Religions are wrong.

And the blind shall see

"And these signs shall follow them that believe.... And the blind shall see"

My dad took those words of Jesus seriously...  He often pointed out that Jesus didn't say" might" or "could"  but a definite "shall".  We are to expect those following in Jesus footsteps (his church)  to walk in miracles such as returning sight to the blind.

Sure,  analogies can be made to sight as wisdom, understanding,  salvation...  Ok.  But the words themselves are meant in context to mean what they say...  Physical miraculous healings.  We are to walk in those.

One night that particular point was tested in dad.  I remember it well.

This happened while we were meeting weekly at an old Presbyterian church building in woodsboro,  long since torn down.  Our family would often walk the 6 or 8 blocks from home to the church.

This particular night I remember watching strangers drive up. 2 or three people got out of the car and helped an elderly lady inside.  She was obviously blind,  walking with assistance and cane.  I watched on the front steps as they helped her slowly update steps.

The small group sat near the front,  on the right side.  I sat several rows back as was my custom.  The message I do not remember,  nothing in particular.  We followed the usual prayer,  singing.  Speaking.  Then at the end...  As he always did,  dad ask the entire congregation if anyone had special needs for prayer. 

The elderly lady motioned.  Either herself or her companions explained that she had been totally blind,  walking with a cane,  most of her life.  I do not remember if they said why.  She had heard that here miracles happened,  and so she came.  She wanted her sight back.

Now,  later I recall dad admitting that he was a bit apprehensive.  There is always something that we think is too big for God,  too much.  Blindness was this for dad.  He doubted.  But faith is not the absence of doubt,  faith is the ability to press forward in the midst of doubt.   And so he did.

In front of the church,  openly,  he prayed for this poor lady and asked Jesus to restore her sight as his words promised.  Nothing spectacular happened,  no lightening bolt or thunder.  But after praying she turned around and screamed!  She could read the bulletin posted at the rear of the church.  Just like that,  calmly and suddenly,  her sight was restored.

The amazing thing to me,  is that miracles were so common in those days,  that this night was not even astounding.  It was "above average"  in excitement,  but only slightly.  People were being healed and delivered weekly. It wasn't a surprise when God moved in this way,  it was a curiosity of "what miracle shall we see this week". 

So yes,  these signs do in fact follow those that believe.....  The blind do see. Even today.

"they have their reward"

I remember dad walking down the Isle of a beautiful church building,  seeing little plaques on the end of the pews,  and sadness overtaking him.  It broke his heart.

He explained,  "they have their reward".  If we seek compensation for our good acts here,  in this life,  then we have no reward for that in heaven.  We don't get both,  it's either here or there.

How said to trade an eternal blessing for a plaque,  a mention,  a few people thinking highly of us?   How sad indeed.

Don't seek recognition,  reward,  compensation here.  Do what you should do,  ad to provide for your needs,  and that's it.  This is peace.  Never demand recognition,  instead trust.  Reward from the creator of the universe is so much more valuable than a reward from man.

Besides,  the true reward comes in not seeking a reward at all!   We should do what we do because it serves God,  fills his heart with joy.  Not for any personal reward here or there.  Life is about giving,  not getting.  Seek to give,  in service to our creator.  Then trust and find peace. 

They have their reward....  How sad.

How to live

Grandma moody would say:

"Plan like you will live forever,  but live like you will die tomorrow."

Solid advice.  Too often we get those backwards.

death

"You start to die the minute you are born,  it's only a matter of time"

That is words of wisdom from great grandma moody. And it's true.  Ever since Adam and eve received the judgement of the curse for disobedience,  life is the process of death.  We are all on limited borrowed time.   None of us knows when we will die,  but we know for certain that we will.  Coming to terms with this reality is the best way to live.

Why is this?  Surprisingly....  Many point only to disobedience.  In fact this is one of the complaints of atheists....  "How could a loving God and father give such a harsh punishment for a single act of disobedience? " they ask.  It leads them down a path of rejecting such a notion.   But the reality is,  it wasn't just an act of disobedience,  it was so much more than that....  And it was what we do so often today.

The" apple" in the story represents the desire to be like God,  without him.  To usurp his position of creator and owner of the world,  and of our own life.   Think about the implications of "the knowledge of good and evil".  Knowing good and evil serves only one purpose,  choose for yourself.  To be the master of your own destiny.  To life your own life.  To judge whether something...  Everything...  Is good or evil.  To play God.   That is the "original sin".  It represents a lack of trust,  lack of respect,  desire to be in control,  to decide for ourselves,  to run things our way,  to do what we want with our life.

Go back to the analogy I use of us being God's computer program.  We are a runaway program,  a piece of software that has "gone off in the weeds"  by leaving it's designed purpose and is off unproductive doing its own thing.  Consuming resources with no benefit to the purpose it was built for.  Infinite loops,  memory leaks,  etc.  That's us.  Amazingly....  God didn't stop the program,  instead he ONLY said " ok,  here is what you asked for". 

You see,  God granted us our wish.  We wanted to be our own boss,  run things,  decide for ourselves,  and he granted that wish.  It must of broken his heart to let Adam and eve,  and each of us,  go from his garden.  We demanded to be on our own,  and he let us.  Death is not a punishment....  No...  Death is what we asked for.  Adam knew he would die,  and he wanted to ge on his own anyway.  He thought he could cheat death.  His pride made him believe that he could be like God and live forever without God.

Oh Adam....  We got your wish.  But it's all of our wishes.  We each have rejected God and desired to eat that same apple.  We are all individually guilty.  We all are the prodigal son,  demanding inheritance to go off and live our life our way.  In other words,  we each have demanded death for ourselves.

It wasn't a punishment,  it was a consequence.  "please don't do that...  If you do,  you will leave me and die.  I will miss you horribly,  I love you.  Stay in the garden,  I will give you everything,  just don't leave."  but...  We left.

We should perceive death as what we asked for.  In essence,  Adam took the chance that he could figure out how to beat death on his own.  He failed.  Everyone has failed.  They are all dead (except perhaps for the anomaly of Enoch,  another story)  we,  will fail.  Our bodies will die.  Period. 

The lesson here....  There are so many.  Death is real and unknown.  Death is not as much a punishment as the result of.  "the wages of sin are death".  God didn't decided to kill us,  no....  He pleaded with us not to choose to try to beat death on our own.  He wanted us to live forever with him.  So much so he gave us a second chance.  Through Jesus we can live.  He died in our place,  paid our debt,  beat death for us,  and we can live.

Death.  It is only a matter of time.

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition

Dad had a lot of "sayings".  This was one I remember :

"praise the Lord and pass the ammunition "

Wests often called to do things,  to stand up for things,  that are against the common understanding.  This that are perceived as unusual or even crazy by the world.  Sometimes things don't even make sense to us.  Nevertheless  we are called to have faith.  If god says to do it  then do it!  Take the fight,  dive in with confidence.

Examples are times like :

David in the Lions den saying "I know God CAN save me,  let set of he WILL."

Young david standing up against goliath with nothing but a slingshot.

Joshua commanding the israelites to war against city after city too big,  to heavily armed,  to much for them to capture.

Another truth that's hidden in this saying is that there is usually a fight in store for us.  God doesn't always make the enemy fall over before us.  More often than not,  we are called to endure the battle,  to  fight.  Faith says we fight regardless the odds.  But it is a fight.  We need ammunition.

Yes,  when you are sure that god said to go....  Then praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.

Grandma and I

This happened one weekend while I was staying with my sister at grandma and grandpa house out in the country.  It surprised me,  in a good way.  I was probably 2nd or 3rd grade at the time.

I was in the garage with grandma,  nanna we called her,  my dad's mom.  She had a ladder and was trying to get something down from up high. As she came down the ladder she slipped!  Fell several rungs right down to the cement floor.  Somehow in the fall her ankle twisted hard. 

I tried to help her up,  but she couldn't stand,  the ankle was too hurt.  I was scared,  she seemed calm though.  Without missing a beat she told me " David,  pray for me". 

Now I was scared....  I had seen dad pray for lots of people,  it was becoming common to witness instant healings,  but this was different...  Me?  Right here?  Right now?  Really?

She repeated " pray for me"  in that insistent matter of factly grandma tone.  "ok"  I hesitated.

In some nondescript timid way I came up with the words I had heard dad say.  "in Jesus name be healed"  or something to that effect.

"ok,  thanks" she said as she easily stood up,  without the slightest hesitation or pain,  and walked out of the garage.  I stood there,  amazed.  What had just happened?  She was hurt bad,  but she just walked out perfectly fine,  no limp.  Nothing.  I looked at the ladder,  and the now empty room.  

Really?

It's only you

This is a story I heard at a seminar once,  from a very trustworthy source. 

A missionary was down in Haiti,  (or a similiar Satan worship/ black magic filled area).  He had been preaching and meeting with great opposition.  The forces of evil were strong in that area.

He awoke one night,  laying alone in his tent.  He lay still on his cot,  facing the tent wall....  But something was wrong.  He wasn't alone.  He could feel the presence,  an evil presence in the tent with him.  There was a sense of darkness,  death,  oppression all around.  The air seemed thick with dread,  foreboding death. 

As he wakened,  and realized this was no dream,  he rolled over in his cot,  not knowing what to expect.  Sure enough,  he wasn't alone.  In the doorway of the tent,  inside,  was evil itself.  It appeared to be Satan standing there,  sucking . all the light and life out of the room.  The tent was filled with evil.  Satan had found him,  and was opposing him with all the forces of hell.

But,  this man was a child of the most high,  walking in God's promise and purity.  His heart was safe.  In the midst of evil itself,  the missionary simply said "oh,  it's just you"  and rolled back over to sleep.

Satan has no power over us,  when we walk in God's way.  There is no reason to fear. None is greater than our God.

The older you get

Another Grandpa saying...

"The older you get, the more you realize how little you know"

I agree with this 100%!  It is only age and experience that brings a heartfelt appreciation for the vast array of of the unknown. Young people can say they "understand" that we don't know everything, but thats not what this refers to. This saying refers to the realization that we don't really know ANYTHING. Life is not a process of learning as much as a realization of how little we CAN learn.  There just isnt enough time in the human experience to truly "get smart".

Now, before the flood, when man lived close to 1000 years, didn't have children till almost 100,  this may not have applied.  Back then, "maturity" was defined totally differently.  No one was "old enough" to have children, start a family, live on their own, until they were close to 100 years old. That means by today's standards... only the elderly are wise enough to START out in life.  They are at the point of wisdom that allows them to understand enough, to start learning.

Wow, what a difference.  To think that those people started life where we end it! That's a comparison to the amount of knowledge and wisdom amassed. Even if you argue that things "moved slower then", the rate of learning, of life, is constant. They absorbed wisdom for 100 years, then began a family, then lived their lives for 700 to 900 years more, constantly learning and maturing.  Today, we start our families at the equivalent of  their "child" stage, and our life is over just at the point where we are old enough to begin truly learning.

So... yes, the older you get, the more you realize how little we know.

Based on this.. be cautious. "Experts" do not usually know nearly as much as they make out. Science itself just knows enough collectively to get us into real trouble. We have some knowledge, but almost no wisdom, speaking as a society.

Desire wisdom? Seek the elderly. Seek those who have seen a few more sunrises than yourself. The most dangerous source for advice of any kind is from those the same age or younger than yourself.  Age brings wisdom.  Period. There are no shortcuts short of a miracle from above.

This too, will make sense when you are older.

Interpreting Prophecy

Be cautious how you interpret prophecy (prophecy being god's word spoken directly).  My dad told me that he would often ask his grandma moody "when will the world end" and she had two answers for him...

1. The year 2000 but not quite
2. The year 1988 will be very important to you

How to interpret this?  All I can say at this point is.. Dad died in 1988.

Grandpa... The silent one

I never really knew my Grandpa except through stories from my dad and vague memories of him from when I stayed the weekend at their house as a youngster. 

I know a few things:

He was relatively quiet and private

He was a farmer

He was unusually bright and inventive

He grew up seeing the power of God first hand through his mom, Great Grandma Moody

He walked in the calling of God as the one in his generation so called

He loved johnny carson on late night tv

My only memories in person are  falling asleep while he watched johnny carsen sitting on the floor a foot from his tv. And once, after prostate surgery, he was laying on our couch in our home with a bag by his side.  And one time a memory of sitting at his table one weekend when grandpa came running into the house with a bloody towel wrapped around his hand.. he had cut off a couple fingers in the lawnmower. That's pretty much it in person. 

I wish I knew him better. I saw him on home videos building the farm, working the crops, working with people. He carried a very authoritative, but gentle air about him. He was creative on the farm, he worked year round on different crops and income sources while other farmers "took the winter off".  

He was also a drunk for many years, diving into the bottle for whatever reason he had. Then one day.. he quit. Just like htat. never touched it again.  A man of strong will.

He was the source of my dad's wisdom and admiration. Quite often after grandpa's death my dad would express how he so wished he could just sit down with grandpa one more time to ask his thoughts. Apparently that was the usual way of finding a way in life for dad while grandpa was alive. 

I also know he killed himself with ice cream.  Yes. When grandpa retired, he retired, fully, completely, never worked another day after. He spent days lounging in bed with the newspaper, watched johnny carson, and ate a full bowl of ice cream every night, It was ultimately the ice cream that got him. After a few years his heart valves were so tough that he needed open heart surgery but didnt make it through. The surgeon said the valves were so brittle with plaque that when he removed them the usually soft pliable valves  cracked and broke in his fingers.  He never woke up from surgery.

There are stories that grandpa could and would pray for animals, or do whatever he did, and they would magically become well.  He was relied on (after his drinking days were over) for help in the poor farming community of bonnieview. 

But yet, he never preached. Sure he followed God, believed the bible, but never walked openly in his calling. Perhaps he was scarred by his mom being chased around 2 countries for her vocal beliefs.  I do not know his reasons. We all have a personal choice.  I will not fault him for his. 

So I respect a man I know mostly from stories and movies and pictures. My dad had the utmost respect, and so shall I. I only wish I knew him better. 

Stephen... The one we wait to meet

Some moments in life become etched in our memory like a eternal photograph,  never fading with time.  Every glance at it in our minds eye brings feelings just as strong as the day it was.  I have many of those,  many sad.  Such is the moment I saw my oldest,  my first son,  laying lifeless in a metal pan.

It was in the last month of pregnancy.  The baby was already a part of our life.  An excited but overwhelmed father feels the life inside kicking and moving and a heart melts.  "This is life"  a voice whispers inside,  this is purpose.

But alas,  one evening a frantic call,  terror begins.  Alone in our unfinished home,  she lay on the floor of the bathroom.  Phone to my ear,  heart racing,  I talk to the emergency people.  They walk me through a birth process,  early,  but something is not right.  Nothing makes sense. There is no Baby.

Placenta previa they called it later .  At home,  little chance for survival.  Just me,  her,  and the phone.  Prayer.  Terror.  The realization that something is horribly wrong.

Later at the hospital Dr had explained what had happened to a shaking,  alone,  young man of barely 20. In an instant it was all over.  Purpose gone, nothing makes sense.  I ask where my child is.  He tries to redirect.  I persist.  I must meet this little life that I knew.  He hesitates,  but finally gives in.  Walks me into the er room. 

It is surreal.  A light shines over a metal pan.  We stop,  him asking if I am sure.  Yes.  We slowly walk over and all i see is that pan,  glowing in the light.  Everything else fades.  Life fades. 

Stephen.  

My first.  I loved you.  I say goodbye. Life goes on,  touched by your presence.  Your job done here.  You may rest.

Someday we will all be together,  I pray.  All.

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